It's a Lovely Life.....

Good.....

2009-03-01T22:27:00.002-06:00

Trying to take on two blogs....what was I thinking!! You can probably get more info on Riley's blog than on mine. I guess he get's the "cute" factor and therefore, more visitors.
So a quick update, things are good. Yes, and I mean good "like good" not good "like I will say it's good but I'm really not all that sure!"
At church this morning I ran into an old friend, Elaine Farmer - such a sweet person - and when she asked me how I was doing, it felt really good to say that I was good! (I realize that is a lot of goods.....just go with me!) I know that there will still be bumps in the road, but I can see further down the road and the view is pretty.....well, good!
Abby gave me a four leaf clover charm for my bracelet. The sweet words that went along with it were even better - she was wishing me good luck in 2009. We both know that "luck" isn't found in a four-leaf clover. But rather, when we are in an obedient, faithful relationship with God, He pours His blessings out upon us. Don't get me wrong, I still have lots to learn but I know that God is drawing me unto Him in a new way. And because of that I can see His blessings, the greatest of which is hope. So that charm is a constant reminder of the hope that comes from God alone. I can just feel God moving in my world. He is bringing about some things that I could not have imagined! (And still don't even know yet.)
So I will save the little stories for another blog, just know that when I lay my head down on the pillow tonight, my prayer begins with "Thank you" instead of "why??".
I hope that everyone has a great week!! I pray that God will fill you with His hope - there isn'tbanything better!!!

Oh - totally unrelated, but hysterical!! I am proud to say that last weekend, I did something that I never wanted to or thought I would....and won't do again. In front of a crowd of drunken cowboys and cowgirls, this high-heel-wearing girl worked her way on top of a mechanical bull and rode for all of about 4 seconds! The getting on was much harder than the holding on or falling off. It is a shame that you weren't there to witness such a debacle!! Feel pretty confident that it won't happen again. Trust me, you would have fallen over in laughter. The shame I felt was far outweighed with knowing I brought so many people such delight!! :) Go ahead - picture it - and laugh!!

Down Time

2009-01-28T16:44:00.002-06:00

We have another snow day today...with no snow. Don't get me wrong, I love not having to get up as well as spending the day with Riley. But a little snow wouldn't be so bad! I guess I got spoiled in Michigan where snow was a part of the terrain. Can you imagine what Riley would do if it snowed??? If we got more than a few inches, he'ld get lost in it! :)
I do enjoy having some down time even while there is much to do at work. Until these surprise "mini-vacations" get here, I always think that I will use that time so wisely.....do my taxes, polish the silver, get ahead on Serendipity products, etc. However, I am happy to report that I did none of that today. And I am not feeling quite so guilty about it. One of my resolutions was to work on not being so stressed. There is great value in getting lost in the downtime. (Although, too much more of it and I think that I will move into that lazy catagory!) Riley and I got to hang out, play and snuggle all day. He is currently curled up beside me taking his afternoon nap! Precious!!! Don't let me tell you what I "should have" done today....I once saw a cartoon that said "snow days are God's ways of telling us to take a break". So I say "yes, Sir"!

Today is Connor's 17th birthday! It is hard to accept that the "kids" aren't kids anymore. Bekah's in college, Savannah is learning to drive, and Connor is becoming a respectable young man. I can't be old enough for them to be so grown up (of course the gray hairs that are coming far too quickly speak otherwise!). It has been a great joy to have been a part of their lives thus far and can't wait to see how their journies continue to unfold!

Resolution update:
So far I have lost 6 lbs - which is my goal for each month. I am hoping to add a couple more to that number before Feb. actually gets here! I'm so excited because my sweet friend Amy has agreed to do the half-marathon with Missy, Courtney, Bri and I! It will be so much fun and it has certainly energized my "training". My hope for Feb. is to exercise regularly.
We're hoping to close on my refinance this week. That is one of the early steps to that financial freedom that I am looking for. I am also able to talk myself out of buying things that I don't have to have right now. In the past I have used shopping (as well as eating) as a way of dealing with stress, disappointment, etc. There will be so much more that I will be able to do when this crazy debt is gone. And I had planned on making it to church on Sunday but the awful stomach virus that is flying around here hit me over the weekend. I figured it would be best not to share this lovely bug on my first day back. Look for me this Sunday! I really do appreciate all of the positive support many of you have given me about returning to LifePoint. It is very encouraging!!
So I am off now to make dinner - something healthy of course. But don't be deceived - I'ld love some warm gooey chocolate right now....but the quick moment of bliss won't be near as satisfying as being smaller and healthier! So it's chicken and veggies....yum, yum!
Hope everyone has had a wonderful day and I pray that you find a moment or two of "down time" for yourselves!

Resolutions for 2009

2009-01-19T16:20:00.004-06:00

I am not even going to begin to explain why I haven't posted in so very long. I'll just say Thanksgiving,trip to Michigan, new nephew, trip to Memphis, new puppy, Christmas, trip back to Michigan, starting back to work, housetraining....do I need to go on?

It is 2009 and I am looking ahead. This is going to be a great year! I have a beautiful nephew and precious puppy that are bringing such joy into my world. God continues to bless me with wonderful relationships - friends and family! What is not to look forward to???!!!

Like most folks, I followed tradition and make some resolutions...I am hoping that I can find success with these. What's my secret? This year I used a more reasonable head to set goals for the year. I don't anticipate that every problem will be solved in 2009. However, I do believe that when the ball drops in 2010 (which we are planning to witness first hand) I can look back over 2009 with great accomplishment and no regret.

My resolutions focus on being healthy. No I am not resolving to lose 50 lbs by spring. When I speak of good health I mean not only physical health, but financial and spiritual health as well. After so many years on this adventure called life, I realize that you can't have one without the others. So here is what I plan to do to achieve good health:

Physical Health: Yes, losing weight is on my list - however, I am trying to be far more reasonable about it. My goal is 6 lbs a month. I need to eat a more balanced diet of "real" foods (those on the perimeter of the grocery store). I want to get back into a healthy exercise regime. Exercising regularly truly does make me feel better physically and mentally. This doesn't mean that I can never indulge in something decadent and chocolate or that I will give myself a guilt trip if I miss a day at the gym - I'm going for reasonable - not perfect! I am telling you this so that you can encourage me and hold me accountable. I'm planning to do the half-marathon again this year so that will help keep me on track. I've already lost 3.5 lbs so I am on my way. A big part of getting and staying physically healthy is reducing the stress in my life. I am going to breathe deeply and focus on doing things that calm my soul. Having Riley around is helping in huge ways! Somehow having a clean house loses out to playing and snuggling with my little guy. And I refuse to feel guilty for making myself a priority. I preach that all the time to my colleagues and stressed out parents. It is as true for me as it is for them. I am already feeling better!

Financial Health: "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law". Romans 13:8

You know that sick feeling that you get - your throat gets a little dry, your head may throb, and your heart rate picks up - all in the few seconds before you open another envelope from some bigger entity than you who wants more money than you ever intended to give them. Debt has been a huge source of stress for me. Maybe some of you have achieved the freedom from debt - if so I ask for your support! But maybe some of you are like me -just over it and ready to do something about it. I hope for you that I can be an encouragement. Given the present day economy, the impact of both necessary debt (school loans) and frivilous, undisciplined debt (credit cards) is significant. Thankfully I have an opportunity to pay back a significant amount of my debts this year. My accountant friend Missy has helped me set up a debt reduction plan. I am so excited because the bulk of that frivilous debt will be gone this year. And there is an end in sight for those seemingly unending school loans. For me this is not about getting rich or hoarding lots of cash to satisfy my impulsive needs to shop for things I don't need. It is about being a better steward of the things that God has asked me to be responsible for. I also see this as another way to reduce stress. So by getting financially healthy I can be more physically in shape.

Spiritual Health: After visiting churches for the last several years, I am feeling a call to get myself plugged back in. God is moving me to make a committment to be a part of a church family where I can grow and learn and serve. There are so many great places of worship - we are in the midst of the Bible belt! But my heart seems to be drawing me back to FBC - a.k.a. LifePoint Church. It seems like as the church begins a new season, it is a good time for me to get back. I ask for your prayers that God will help me sustain obedience and faithfulness so that He can draw me closer to Him. And I know that any other goal or resolution attempted to achieve without God is set for failure.

There they are....my resolutions for 2009. Not all that new and different from most people. But I believe a new spirit of resolve and determination will lead to something different than in years past - success!

Graydon Drury Bagwell - my handsome nephew!

Here's Riley-You can check out his blog at http://www.mynameisriley.blogspot.com/

I know, I know, I know...

2008-11-08T18:54:00.002-06:00

I know I made a pledge to blog more often and to keep you posted on what is going on in my life. And once again, I have failed to do that. I do have a pretty good excuse. My personal laptop has given up! It just won't do anymore. All of you technologically-minded folks may have some ideas on what to do....but it has been the source of such frustration lately that it makes me crazy to even think about it! I talked with some of the technology folks at work and they pretty much said I was better off getting a new one than investing in trying to get mine fixed! So big fun!!
So that is really the main reason I haven't blogged lately. The other is that I haven't had very much positive stuff to say lately. And I do remember that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!! My world isn't awful, but it isn't one that I would offer to anyone I cared about! Work continues to be stressful. I do love the people I work with and feel very lucky to be among them all! However, the constant meetings, dealing with problems, the piles of paperwork....I know other folks have to deal with things like that too. I shouldn't complain. But it is just like being on ALL the time! I imagine it is what moms feel when they have a couple of toddlers with them all day....We don't ever really get a chance to process anything that we are doing. We solve other people's problems from start to finish. Again, the people I deal with for the most part are wonderful, but it is really wearing on me.
Life outside the office, for what little there is, isn't very exciting either. No exciting adventures...no new people coming into my world....nothing to get real excited about. I have spent a wealth of time trying to make some fun new products for Serendipity, but did a crafts fair last weekend and only sold 1 bag. Pretty frustrating!! It takes so much time and effort to design and create things. And to not see it pay off......you can imagine how I feel. But before I throw in the hat, I am going to be part of a Holiday Open House Nov. 22-23. I will post info about that if any of you want to come by! If that is a bust I may really ponder whether Serendipity Designs has a future or not.
So aside from sewing, and usually while sewing, I spend my time watching football. As most of you know, my alma mater is leaving MUCH to be desired. It is hard to get excited about the Big Orange when they can't even beat Wyoming....seriously???? Don't know what will happen with a new coach. Hopefully it will be a move for the better! At least we have the Titans!
We are still anxiously awaiting the arrival of my neice or nephew! It is just about 4 weeks away. I can hardly believe it! I think I am thankful I don't know what it is, otherwise, I would spend lots of money I don't have on the cute baby stuff out there!!!
I started reading the book Potatoes Not Prozac. It is pretty interesting. The premise is that there are some people who are sugar sensitive and that sensitivity impacts what they eat and when they eat it. And for those who have low levels of seretonin (like me), the changes in blood sugar really impacts the biochemistry in the brain. So the more depressed or anxious you feel, for a sugar sensitive person, the more sweets and carbs you crave, which makes your body chemistry unbalanced, which makes you feel depressed and anxious. So you can see the cycle that develops. It suggests different nutritional changes that you can make that could help. I am giving it a try. It's one of those books that as you read it you say "that's totally me". And since I became such a brain nerd, the biochemistry/neurotransmitter info makes sense to me. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
My days are filled with lots of meetings, answering questions/emails, and coming home to an empty house with a long "to do" list of things I sure wish I had someone to share it with. I know that God is here but I can't really see what He is working on. Wish I could...would certainly make some of this stuff more bearable. His word says He wants better for me...just having trouble believing it right now. So I ask for your prayers....there are lots of other things going "wrong". I long for the days when I really did find rest in His arms. When singing His praises filled me with hope and joy, despite my circumstances. When my faith was strong and sure.....there is this great song by Point of Grace that says "What am I fighting you for?" That is where I am. So please pray that my heart will be receptive and open. I don't want to fight Him and what He wants to do in my life. I know that He is there..I need to find out why I don't KNOW Him like I used to. I would love nothing more than to feel like He has scooped me up and is holding me in His strong and safe arms.
Thanks for letting me honest with you all. I am not sure why, but something about sharing with you, from behind the safety of my laptop screen, helps me...helps me give words to the mess of stuff in my head and in my heart. Maybe that will motivate me to be a better blogger!!
Don't know exactly when I will have the new laptop (I brought my work laptop home...don't tell!) but I will try to check back with you soon!

Yeah, I know...

2008-10-16T20:18:00.002-05:00

...it's been two weeks since I last checked in. I don't blame you for wanting to give up on me. But if you are reading you must have one little grain of hope left for me. So thanks for that!
I will say that one reason for my lack of blogging was Fall Break. I am so fortunate to have such generous friends...this year I went back to Destin with the "crew" for a week-long escape. Even the rain couldn't spoil my AWOL adventure. There is something so peaceful about being at the beach. It just does something for my soul. And spending time with good friends certainly doesn't hurt either. I will post some pics soon - because you know I took a few! :)
While away I did manage to read a few books. Aside from some good chick lit, I picked up a highly recommended read - The Shack. I was told that it could change my life and I am due for some life-changing activities! It is an incredible story - I encourage all of you to give it a chance. It presents a very interesting and thought-provoking view of our Father...Papa. As soon as you read it, let me know because I am anxious to talk about it!
The other big reason I haven't blogged lately is this archaic piece of technology sitting on my lap. For reasons beyond my comprehension, my laptop has gotten quite "sensitive" - as in, it works only when it wants to, not when I need it to. While the best solution to my technological turmoil would be a new computer, my checkbook says that is not possible right now. So before it catches on that I am using it without issue right now, I want to say that it may postpone some of my "interesting and insightful" blogs in the future!!

Baby Update.....Bernie went to the doctor this week and all is well. We are down to 71/2 weeks!!! Can you imagine??? We are so very excited!! And Dru and Bernie welcomed another member of the family into their home....a new dog, Lady! I can't wait to hear the story!
Still searching for my Riley-dog....hopefully he will wander across my path soon.

In the coming days (provided the laptop cooperates!) I will be asking you all to help me with something......

Also, for those of you in the M'boro area, I will have a booth at a Craft Fair at Blackman High School on November 1st. I will be showcasing some of my new Serendipity Designs as well as special photography packages. I have added koozies, keychains, laundry bags, and Christmas stockings to the line of bags. I will post more details soon. Hope you will make it by. It will be a great opportunity to get holiday gifts!

Thanks for hanging in there with me!! Hope you all have a fulfilling Friday!!
More soon.....

Checking In

2008-10-01T21:32:00.002-05:00

To the four or five of you that were following my story, I apologize for the lack of chapters of late. I have had some computer issues (a.k.a. my old laptop has been completely jacked up!!) and unable to get on to post anything.
The last few weeks have been much like the ones before. Lots of work - lots of meetings - lots of answering questions and trying to help folks adapt to change. Not much in the social arena...I guess no progress is better than bad progress....
My brother and Bernie have gotten settled in their new home in Michigan. I have to say that I have been a little more nostalgic about this move. Maybe it's the baby or having a new sister.....
I am looking forward to surviving the next two days and heading south for the beach. It is time for our annual Beach get-away! I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to sitting on the beach and doing nothing....yep, nothing!!! I am not sure what I will talk or think about because the topic of work will be completely OFF LIMITS!!!!
So, again, you may not hear from me for another week or so. Look forward to a refreshed and rested version of myself!
Wishing you a wonderful week full of lots of moments that make your heart smile!

One word

2008-09-15T22:03:00.002-05:00

Do you ever have a moment when a word that is so familiar that it goes unnoticed in your every day language suddenly rolls off your tongue in a new way? A word whose meaning requires no explanation unexpectedly becomes new again?
That happened to me tonight...and that group of letters that have given me a new perspective is...SHOULD. "Should" - how often is that sound uttered from our lips each day? I should get up early and study the Word. I should make sure I do everything right. Should I do this or should I do that? I should have anticipated this happening.......the phrases go on and on. And then there are "should's" cousins - 'ought' and 'need'. They can usually be found playing together. Can you imagine that sandbox??
I can't say that I never pondered the power of that word, but it struck me very differently today. Let me set the scene....I woke up late, thinking "I should have gone to bed earlier last night and I should have gotten up when the alarm first went off." When recapping my weekend with my co-worker "I should have done more. I needed to work on Serendipity." Then I spent a day in a training about psychopharmacology (mental health drugs - some of you may be thinking that is was for personal reasons!) - learning about the impact of different medications. While it was very interesting, our Indian doctor struggled with his speaking. You can imagine what a challenge it was for this southern gal to interpret the medical jargon spoken with such a different dialect! It really was exhausting!
So after 8 hours of expending some serious brain power, all I wanted to do was to come home and take a nap. But I really should go work out....there is was again! Did you catch it? I didn't at first. Because I followed it with "I really should get back on track with working out and eating right if I am going to get back in shape" - well, a not so squishy shape! That was two shoulds in a matter of seconds. But that isn't all. When I got home and sat down for a few minutes "I really shouldn't sit down. There is too much to do!" There is was again, with its best friend "really". As if plain old "should" isn't bad enough.
So as I sat pondering the activities of my evening before I knew it I was "shoulding" all over myself. And then it hit me. I actually heard the "should". In fact, all the "shoulds" of the day started raining down on me. And I asked myself a very powerful question - "Who says I should?" Seems like the most stressful and powerful "shoulds" don't come from my boss or society's rules (yeah, I very rarely say "I should drive the speed limit!"). Those "shoulds" are coming from within. I can almost see the grown-up Leigh shaking her finger at a younger version of myself. From a psychological perspective I understand that messages can be sent by a Parent/Child/Adult state within us and that balance is achieved when communication is between the adults. Typically the communication in question is between people; however, it think it applies to the messages sent within myself. (There is a lot more to this theory if anyone is interested!) All of that to say that my "adult" isn't around when the "shoulds" are.
"Should" implies doing something that maybe you don't want to do or something that is hard to do - not order french fries with dinner, scrubbing the toilet while the game is on, balance the checkbook when gas is $5 a gallon. Do you agree? I guess if it was something fun or something we wanted to do we wouldn't have to should ourselves. Can't you just see your parents or some other significant adult in your childhood telling you what you should and shouldn't do? It creates this negative cloud in my mind and soul. I feel like I am in trouble. I don't like to be told what to do. It's that fiercely independent core that I have (and yes, that perfectionist part of my personality). So when I "should" myself, I instinctively feel bad about whatever action is in question. And feeling bad about something doesn't really inspire me to get the job done. Maybe that is why I continue to struggle with issues such as weight, money, relationships.......
Now I am curious about the biblical implications and so I get out my trusty concordance in my bible. Keep in mind I am using the concordance in the back of the bible and not reading through every chapter and verse. Want to know how many times the word "should" is listed? Not once! I am not kidding. Again, I am not saying that the word doesn't appear anywhere, but I can't help but think that if it is such a powerpacked group of letters, wouldn't a concordance highlight its use? Maybe if God doesn't stand before us, shaking his finger while He says "you should have done this and you shouldn't have done that" I don't have to either!
So what? What do I plan to do with this newfound realization? I am hoping that I will stop "shoulding" myself and start focusing on what I want and need. Inspiring action because of what brings balance and peace to my soul, not because of some unsubstantiated feeling of meeting an expectation of an inner voice that doesn't always have my best interest in mind. As I have continued my journey to get to know me, this seems to fit in with where I am - giving a voice to my essential self. (Have I mentioned that I am reading a great book - Finding your North Star - so very good and exactly what I need right now!)
If you hear me "should" call me out on it! Ask me why I think I "should". And keep praying for me......can you imagine how many "shoulds" I have uttered in my 30+ years?? I won't master it overnight, but I am looking forward to breaking out of the bonds that this word has held over me! Stick around to see what happens!

Just another day

2008-09-12T22:21:00.002-05:00

Well, another week has finally come to an end. There were a few moments I wasn't sure that I was going to make it - but thankfully God is stronger and stands more firm than I do. I credit Him for literally closing my mouth is some instances and for giving me the right words in others!
Do you ever have those days when you finally fall into the comfort of your pillow wondering how you survived the day or how you got through without committing a criminal act?? It is becoming a more regular occurrence in my world. I am trying not to evolve into a truly negative nancy but I find myself complaining more than I celebrate, biting my tongue instead of using it to build someone up and letting my nonverbals communicate my frustration quite loudly. Sometimes He calms the storm and sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms the child. Ike is not the only storm wreaking havoc right now. (I do not liken my struggles to the families and communities facing certain destruction and devastation. I am humbled and convicted when I open my mouth to complain. I pray that God's hands are vast enough to hold all of His children specifically during the next few days.)
So my little unnamed storm continues to fill my world with dark and gray clouds. But I am hanging in there. I pray that God has something amazing just around the corner. I don't know if it is what I am learning about myself or a new relationship or amazing opportunity... but whatever it is, I am sure that I will appreciate it that much more. I have endured the dark clouds before so know that I WILL SURVIVE!! (a little shout out to disco diva!).
I ask for your continued prayers. I am still going through this process of self-discovery. Lessons come is so many forms from so many different places. Many of you know that I struggle with feelings of unworthiness. I am sure that the inventor of Facebook didn't know that his little website would one day play a role in discovering my own self-worth. During the last few months I have been overwhelmed at the out-pouring of well wishes and reconnections from old friends - some I haven't seen in literally 25 years! I have spent the last three days at a conference of the importance of developing healthy connections for our children today. It seems to be something that holds true for adults as well. Through today's technology, I have been able to reconnect with so many people! With those connections comes the realization that not only did they leave an impact on me, but I on them as well. When an old elementary schoolmate found me, I was amazed. My friend Josh's first reaction was that I must have left a pretty good impression on the classmate. We all have spheres of influence and I am finding mine is a little larger than I thought. Not always sure that my influence is positive, but at least I can add a few more names to the list. The bottomline is that I don't feel quiet so alone and so small in this great big world. And that is a step in the right direction!
This is sort of a random post - just the ramblings of a girl trying to make it through the day! Maybe some of you will find a diamond in my rough!
Hope everyone has a great weekend and that Ike will not be as destructive as predicted!
More ramblings later................

A couple of firsts

2008-09-09T21:19:00.002-05:00

Well another week has quickly come and gone. I have to be up early and head to downtown Nashville for a conference, so I am going to have to keep this short and sweet.
This weekend we experienced a couple of firsts. I went to Memphis for the weekend. Our friends were throwing a Baby Shower for my brother and Bernie. Since this is the first baby in the family, it was, obviously, the first baby shower. And how fun it was! There were so many people that came to support Dru and Bernie and the new baby! They got tons of stuff. It was so fun watching my brother trying to figure out what things were and how he would use them! There were certainly some priceless moments! In true male form, he was perhaps most excited about getting Titans and Nascar sippy cups. Something tells me he may use them before little Baby Bagwell does!! I am so proud of him! Watching him evolve and grow up before our eyes is so very cool!
Another first happened during the party. As most of you know my parents divorced about 8 years ago. For lots of reasons, my mom and dad and his wife Linda haven't ever been in the same place together. Dad and Linda were invited to the shower, along with my uncle Dru. Some were a little cautious about this first meeting. But God is faithful and He definitely worked it all out. Everyone was able to celebrate Dru, Bernie and baby together! For some, that might not seem like such a big deal. But it was, and is. For any of us who have ever ended a relationship, we all know that awkward feeling that we get when we see our ex for the first time. It is more than normal. But I am happy for all of us.
It was a great night. I saw folks I haven't seen in years! It was like a huge family reunion. After the opened presents (for what seemed like forever) my brother even got up and made a little speech! There weren't many dry eyes! Hopefully I will get to post some pictures soon.
Another highlight of the weekend was getting to visit my friend Amanda, not once but twice! Amanda worked in Rutherford County for many years and had become not only a colleague but a friend. Her family moved to Jackson this summer! We made a deal when she left that I would stop through for visits on my trips to Memphis. We had a great time of catching up and chatting. She was, as always, so very encouraging to me! The funny part of the evening came when she asked me to stop on my way back through so she could buy my purse for me! So as I dumped my stash out of my newly made purse into a brown paper bag on Sunday, I couldn't help but laugh out loud! What a great friend!!
So maybe I wasn't as short as I intended, but hopefully you found this entry a little bit sweet. It is off to bed for me! My friend Aaron just sent me a message that if I am going to get to Nashville by 7:30 I need to leave really early! Again, I say...ugh!!!!

Good news....it's been found!!

2008-09-02T22:46:00.003-05:00

My head that is! I don't know if you guys knew that it was lost. When, precisely, is hard to tell....somewhere around 6-7 weeks ago. It disappeared quietly, as if, sneaking away one step at a time. I was so busy at first I didn't really notice it. Which may tell you how important it really is!! But slowly and surely I started forgetting things - just names....small tasks.....where I left things.....Then I started feeling tired, run down, stressed.....before long I was overwhelmed with too many "to do"s and not nearly enough time to do them in. My house was becoming a mess....dishes in the sick, stacks of paper on the coffee table, and the worst, beds unmade! (For those of you who really know me know what that means!) I gave myself a little retreat to the lake - just me and the Fred's....and that was helpful but only provided a brief reappearance of the gray mass above my eyebrows! It wasn't long before it vanished again. I think...well, I couldn't think because my thinker was missing, but I imagine that some feared it's permanent departure! I struck fear in the heart of my co-workers when they heard me declare numerous times "I have lost my mind!! I don't know where it went!" I have far too many responsibilities that nobody wants if I had entered a permanent state of mindlessness! They might have even had to write a 504 plan for me (Kim, I hear you laughing out loud!)
However, this weekend while scrubbing toilets, cleaning floors (even under the furniture!), finally getting that outdoor shed, and perhaps finding a most reasonable solution to my constant and irritating sinus and alergy condition - I realized that it was back. My head was securely attached just where it should be. Thinking became almost effortless. And with the thinking came a calm I haven't experienced in quite some time. And it was then that I knew I was ready.
Ready to begin this next adventure on this journey we call life. God gave me the green light to begin this 4 month search. My head is clear and my heart is open. It was so refreshing! And so I began. It has been interesting thus far. I am getting to know me....the real me. I must thank you all for the prayers you have offered up on my behalf. Let me assure you that they have been working. God has blessed me with an energy and enthusiam for this introduction to myself. It won't always be easy...but knowing you're offering prayers to support me will help me in those quieter and more challenging moments.
I will introduce you all to me as soon as I know a bit more. I stood on the edge, looking over the water below and I jumped! I have taken those first few steps...and they say that those are the toughest! Here's to a Happy Landing!

Singing in the Rain

2008-08-26T19:31:00.003-05:00

I am so thankful for the rain that fell today. Although the clouds have made for a couple of gloomy days, I can almost hear the parched ground sigh in relief. It has been several weeks of sunshine...with a few teaser clouds thrown in. Not only does the rain bring cooler weather, it gets me off the hook from watering my very thirsty plants! And quite honestly, if it didn't rain, they'ld still be crying out for nourishment. I think that is something that we have in common - the need for nourishment.
Yes, I am comparing myself to the landscape - perhaps further proof of the reality of the situation. My barrel is dry...bone dry. I have given and used about everything I had in me. So, I need some nourishment - physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally....did I leave out any "tion"s?
So I am taking the next four months to answer some questions and make some decisions. No worries.....I'm not running off to join the circus (tents are for parties not animal shows!). My life is not bad....in fact, most days it is just fine. But it isn't what I want -at least not completely. And I don't want to wake up years from now and still use "fine" to define my world.
Being transparent and vulnerable is still something I am working on, so I won't share much more at this point. However, I do ask for those of you who care to check in on me, please pray for me. Pray that God would reveal the next step in His plan for me. Pray for willing obedience. Pray for discipline - for commitment to this process. I fully recognize my need for nourishment and I want to wake up in a life fully lived - the way that God intended it to be.
I will keep you posted! :)

Catching Up

2008-08-24T19:59:00.003-05:00

I realize that the last time I blogged Michael Phelps had yet to achieve Olympic greatness. But while I was able to squeeze in a few memorable Olympic moments, getting to the blog has not made it to the top of my list. For those who have faithfully checked in, I apologize. I hope that you haven't given up on me quite yet.
Life has been running at a fevered pace for the last 5 weeks. Why 5 weeks? Well, it was 5 weeks ago tonight that I prayed desperately for just another day of my own. Much to my dismay God reminded me that He has called me back to the Board. :) In our five weeks we have helped to put on a conference for 1000+ RCS educators, held at least one training/meeting every week. Several of those meeting have required a great amount of energy - either mental or physical or both! The 5 weeks were capped off on Friday with our annual Counselor Training. Our theme was A Star is Born. Very Hollywood! Lots of work but so worth the effort. The pic is of our team after our Awards Ceremony! They don't tell you about these aspects of our jobs in college!
And during all of that time, I have been so blessed to have caught up with old and new friends alike on Facebook. I think I am getting addicted! But it is so fun to check in with people who have been a part of my past - which have led me to where I am right now! I even got to spend some time with an old friend and her children last week! I have also had several sewing projects that have taken up a good bit of time. Even when I wasn't working on there, having them hang over my head was as equally overwhelming as getting them finished.
So through all of that time, I haven't really taken any time to just "be" at my house. I did have a weekend with the dogs at the lake. That was fantastic, but I did have to pack up everything. So as I prepare to begin week #6, I hesitantly admit that for the first time in what feels like forever, I did nothing! I mean, really nothing!! With my schedule being so crazy lately, you can imagine the state of my home. There is laundry to do, trash to take out, refrigerator to clean out.....not to mention the stack of bills/mail that have accumulated over time, the piles of "things" that I have dropped off in various locations throughout the house when I get home at night, the business paperwork for Serendipity, sewing....you get the picture! I knew that I only had one "fun" event for the weekend. It would be a great time to catch up! And catch up I did - on sleep! On relaxing! And yes, on blogging!
Some might say I was being lazy (and I can be in this group). Others might point out that if I have so much to do why didn't I use my time more effectively? (again, you can find me here). But there are a few who might say "Good for you! You did exactly what you needed to do!" (Trying to be that one!) I did go to a music debut last night for a friend of mine's sister (She was great!! Her name is Wendy Duffy - You should definitely check her out at www.myspace.com/wendyduffy). It was great fun!
I am really trying to not "should have" "could have" all over my weekend. We all may have expected more out of me this weekend. But I am learning not to answer to "everybody else". God asks me to please Him - not everyone else. God says we should rest. This is an area of my life that I struggle with obedience. But He did create me so He probably does know what He is talking about. (Still working on applying that to all of the other things He wants me to do!) I can't "Do" myself to heaven. And when I spend so much time and energy and emotion taking care of everything else, I don't give myself enough time to "Be" with Him. And that is what is most important!
So my "To Do" list for this week will include that laundry that didn't get done, paying the bills that are stacked on the coffee table, and putting up all of the stuff that hasn't found it's home yet. But hopefully all of those tasks will be a little bit easier since I took hold of my own time and did what I wanted....and maybe also what I needed!

My new loves....

2008-08-11T21:48:00.004-05:00

I have totally gotten into the Olympic spirit - I feel like I have spent the weekend in Beijing! And I have to admit that I think I have a new love.....how about the US Men's swim team! Was I alone in catching the amazing finish of the 4x100 team relay last night?? WOW! And I just finished watching Aaron Piersol come back and win gold in the 100 Back. He could make me move to California....so cool! "I won the gold - no big deal!" Michael Phelps keeps winning gold! They are all breaking world records like I break my diet! My old friend and almost-olympic swimmer friend Christy would be so proud! Go Team USA!!!!
p.s. Sorry Aaron that this one isn't so philosophical. I can only think so deeply before my brain starts to shut down! Check back later this week for some "Deep Thoughts"...... :)

Luxuries....

2008-08-10T20:20:00.003-05:00

What exactly is a luxury? Advertising tells us that is the best, most expensive, wonderful, largest, newest.....and the list goes on. But I think it isn't so concrete. When I think of luxuries I think of having someone dust my house for me. Media outlets would be so disappointed in my definition. Luxuries, to me, are the little things that make life a little easier but aren't necessary. I would give my right arm to have someone to share household responsibilities....I mean to not have to worry about whether or not I got that bill paid and mailed. I love working in the yard, but it would be great fun to have someone out there with me. Sounds like for me luxury is about another person....hadn't really thought about that before.
I also think that luxury is about time. Time to just rest. Time to relax. Having a 'to do' list short enough to actually accomplish in one evening. Time to explore the "what's next in my life!"
I didn't intend to sound like a whiner. I have come to terms with my life and what I have to do to maintain in. I will seek out little luxuries whenever and whereever I can find them. It may not be the best, most expensive, wonderful, largest, newest thing out there. But for me, it will be a moment of breathing a little easier and smiling a little larger.
In fact, I think I deserve a little luxury tonight. So I am going to sign off, watch the Olympics and paint my toenails. My little bit of luxury!
And, for those of you who have commented on my last blog, I so appreciate it! I am encouraged to know that there are those of you who will help me along in this process. It is a work in progess.

"What?? Me...Worried?????" Uh - YEAH!

2008-08-06T21:19:00.003-05:00

"Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of Christ which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:6-7
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Whenever I am asked or prompted to think about my "life verses" or those that have had some significance in my life these are the first ones that come to mind. Notice a theme.......
I know that I have recently blogged about trying to find balance. Today I asked my co-worker a rather simple-sounding question that has become incredibly overwhelming for me lately: How do you not worry? Although a small part of me knew that there was not an answer that could be offered in just a few words or minutes, I longed for a quick 3-Step answer. "First, do this. Next, do that, and finally when you finish this, you will be worry-free!"
Her answer surprised me a bit. She said that in some areas of her life "I just don't worry." As if it were as easy as that. "I just don't worry." A totally foreign concept to me! Just don't do it! Nike's worst nightmare! I see people go through life and they have seemmed to master this skill too. I don't know why I get to be different. I would imagine that some of you might think "Leigh, you don't worry." Oh but if you only knew. It is a battle I must fight everyday. The problem I seem to be having lately is that I am not sure what armor and gear I need to put on in the morning.
There was a time in my life where I did have a great amount of faith. I thought I totally trusted God and knew that all would be fine in His time. And then life got hard. Dreams got dashed and plans were disrupted. Disappointment replaced anticipation. Discouragement took hold of hope. The future got very fuzzy and hard to see. This is not a revelation that I am proud of. I want to be that person that stands firm knowing her God is giving her the very best. I want to breathe life into dreams that have settled into the darker corners of my heart. I want to want to try!
So I looked at my co-worker and thought "well, that doesn't help me at all!" But in reality, as that conversation has settled into that part of me that hasn't given up, I see that while it won't be easy, maybe I do have a couple of the "steps". When I speak of the Phil. verse as being my life verse, I often just stop after "Do not be anxious about anything." I get it now. God didn't just say "Don't worry. Figure out the rest on your own." No, thankfully, he knew his little girl Leigh would need a bit more help. So I go right back to that verse and read on...."BUT" so he doesn't expect or want me to just not worry - "In EVERYTHING" - okay, so does that really mean the stuff that I want to control too. It is funny to me that the things I know I can't do anything about are is easier to give over to God. It is those things that I hang onto, that He longs to unburden from my shoulders...those are the things that cause me the most worry. - "by PRAYER and PETITION" I think He means more than the quick fix prayers that often take the place of real fellowship with my Savior and Redeemer - "with THANKSGIVING" so I am supposed to be happy that things aren't going according to my plan - oh wait, it's God's plan I should be focused on, right - "PRESENT YOUR REQUESTS TO GOD." So He expects, rather, wants me to share my concerns with Him. He knows that things don't always seem right to me. Wow - so it is a few more than three steps - five, to be exact. That isn't so many. And what it doesn't say is that you have to be perfect, you have to earn the right to go to Him, you have to struggle on your own for a period of time before He will listen to you, I don't have to look a certain way, work a certain job....none of that.
What I am starting to realize is that there is more to that passage. God is so good that He tells me what will happen when I complete the 5 steps....get this.."And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." PEACE that is one of those things that I have been searching for these last few years. I don't have to understand where it comes from (not that I wouldn't mind some understanding) and I don't have to do it on my own - I've got Jesus to help.
So maybe learning to not worry isn't so absurd for me. If you tuned in to find out more about my world, sorry to be so philosophical tonight. But I have to also say "Thanks". You really have helped me tonight. I would ask that you pray for continued understanding and application into my life. I am not so bold as to say that having this one revelation will cease all my worries. But I do hope that maybe I can worry a little less tomorrow than I did today!

So it has been a while......

2008-07-31T19:35:00.002-05:00

I know that I pledged to try to be consistent with this....well, then life happened. For those few of you who have checked my little blog for the last couple of weeks, I hope that this will wet your appetite. I promise to try to do a better job in the coming days!
So when we last left I was anticipating a big week and standing on the edge of a new adventure deciding if it was time to jump.
I can say that quite a bit has happened between now and then. I had a birthday, got a sister, saw my neice or nephew, had a mini-family reunion, started back to work, help put on a conference for 1000+ teachers, and prepared a Serendipity Booth to sell some bags......and also during that time I had a couple of relationships stumble and re-kindled a few others. Maybe that will garner a bit of sympathy from you for not updating my blog.
So a few more words about all of the happenings....
My birthday was GREAT!! I was overwhelmed with birthday wishes from old friends and new! I got to spend time floating by the pool and had a great birthday dinner. From start to finish it was a good day (even though I have to go up another number - 28 is so difficult!)
The day after my birthday I got a great gift from my brother.....a sister!! Dru and Bernie were married on July 15th. It was the perfect day for them. I will try to add some of their wedding pics to the blog soon. They are both so cute and excited! My brother has a wife!!!!! ;)
It has been a long time (at least 2 years) since all of the grandchildren have been together at the same place at the same time. So we did the seemingly impossible and all gathered together in Memphis to celebrate my birthday, Dru and Bernie's marriage and family time! The kids have grown up so well and I am very proud of each of them. I can remember when each of them joined our family....it doesn't seem as if it were really so long ago!
Perhaps the coolest part of the weekend was getting to watch the DVD of Bernie's recent ultrasound. I got to see my little neice or nephew! It was amazing! Then when I heard the heart beat......it was over! The tears started! At one point the baby turned toward the camera as if knowing that we all wanted a peek! Dru and Bernie are pretty commited to not finding out what they are having and we are all trying to respect their decision! And in the end, it doesn't really matter! As long as mom and baby are healthy, everything else is just cake! My little neice or nephew actually sent me a picture today! You all will have ample opportunities to look at it! Just indulge me! :)
Coming back to work isn't so bad. I get to work with fantastic folks who are very encouraging and fun to be around! That was the motivation I needed when the alarm went off early on that first Monday! I could have used a little more time for myself. I guess that gets to be my goal for these next few weeks - balance! If any of you have any ideas about how to get this, I am all ears!
Every year our system puts on a huge conference for 1000 of our teachers and educators. Our team gets to help prepare the facilities for this endeavor. This means ordering tables/chairs/equipment; making sure that the rooms are ready and are set up for each presenter; working with two schools to pull all of this off......in essence, I get to be an event planner! So you know that I enjoy that immensely. But when it comes time to turn all of the planning into action, it requires a great amount of work and energy. Long days in hot weather.....and this year, I decided that Serendipity Designs needed to have a booth at the Exhibit Hall. In theory, it was a good idea. But the summer didn't prove to be as productive as I had hoped, but I was able to pull enough bags, etc. together to have a good show. My sweet Bri helped out and did a great job introducing folks to Serendipity products. All in all, it was a successful event and I have the bags under my eyes to prove it! :)
So now I am facing trying to get back into reality and some structure of a life. I am taking some time just for myself this weekend (and trying not to feel guilty!) My goal is to rest, breathe....and come up with a plan to strike that perfect balance! I will let you know what I come up with.
And as for that "edge" situation......after further consideration, I am not sure that the pool of water below is the right one for me. So no jumping right now.....I mean, if I am going to jump, I should want to go into the water below, right????

With great anticipation

2008-07-13T18:47:00.002-05:00

This is my last Sunday night before starting back to work. Thankfully I have found several people that can appreciate what a treasure a Sunday night is when you don't have to work the next Monday morning. I am trying to enjoy "this moment". Nothing spectacular is going on - just a quiet evening.

For those of you who may have come across my blog today, I have a request. Please say a prayer for me this week. This is one of those potential "big weeks". I hope to have a great update for you next week.

Have you ever felt like you were standing on the edge of a cliff? Below you lies a beautiful pool of sapphire waters waiting to catch you. You know that the water can provide cool relief from a hot sun or that it will cushion your fall and keep you from harm's way. You have watched those around you take their turn, running to the edge leaping forward in faith and fun. Their laughter floats above the splashes from the water below. As you stand there looking at the scene you know you want to jump. You want your laughter to join the chorus of those around you. You have been waiting your turn, but somehow, it didn't look so scary from the back of the line. Everything in you says "Go for it"....well, almost everything. There is a small voice that reminds you that the jump isn't risk-free. You might get hurt. And the volume is getting louder. Your friends cheers of encouragement try to drown out those internal warnings. Those waiting their turn, while patient, are moving you closer to the edge. Voices of fear and fun battle inside you, each shouting their own case. The time has come. Your moment is here. You take a deep breath as you take the last small step to the edge of the cliff. One.....two.......three......................................

Reflections

2008-07-08T01:31:00.004-05:00

It is funny to me to think that I will never see myself as I really am. My reflection stares at me when I pass by a mirror and glance through pictures. But I never really get to see me - as I am. And I think that this goes beyond the physical, at least for me. As I listen to the words of the song playing, I can't help but wonder what people see when they see me. My version of my reflection is not what others view - at least that is what you tell me. And is the view different depending on who you are? Does the stranger passing in the street see the same thing that my family does? What about my colleagues? Those with whom I have begun new relationships versus old friends? I am sure that the picture shifts depending upon the degree of transparency that I have with all of these people. And can each one truly have a complete and accurate picture if they only have one view?
Then I think about how God sees me. That is one picture that I cannot seem to get my head wrapped around. I know that in His word He says that He has numbered every hair on my head (Luke 12:7); that He has created me with a purpose and a plan (Jer. 29:11); that I am a reflection of Him (Gen. 1:27); and that He loves me enough to let His son pay the price for my sin (John 3:16). But the reflection I see in the mirror looks nothing like that at all. The eyes that stare back at me are full of self-doubt, worry and fear that someone may actually "see" me for who I am. I see my short-comings, my failures, my potential disappointments. I see what I am not instead of what I can be. But I am starting to think that it might be interesting to see what the rest of you do.
I know that some of you may be saying "Wait, that is not what I see!" And I appreciate it when you share your picture of me, though I usually have trouble believing that you don't need to get your eyes checked!
I suppose the proper balance would be that when all of these pictures and reflections come together, a beautiful and real image slides into focus. One that is aware of her strengths and her weaknesses and uses both to grow every day. One that allows all of her experiences to be seen and doesn't fear judgement from others, or worse, herself.
Maybe it's time to clean my mirror and check my eyes. I know that God doesn't want any of us to live in the "can'ts" "nots" and "didn'ts". I am very blessed to have such an amazing group of people surrounding me, holding up their own mirrors, trying to show me what they see. Instead of ignoring the mirrors altogether, I hope that I can begin to really look at the images you describe.
So that reflection in the mirror now asks you to pray with her as she works to see her real self come into focus. I will let you know what I see!

A quick update

2008-07-02T21:05:00.006-05:00

Thanks to all of your prayers and kind words for our presentation this past weekend. I am pleased to report that it went really well. We had about 60 professional school counselors in attendance and they seemed pretty engaged for the whole 3 hours. I have included a pic of the group that presented. We worked with some great folks from Fulton County. It was very cool to swap stories with other school counselors. After we finished our session we were able to really enjoy the rest of the conference. We went to some great sessions and learned alot about the direction that school counseling is going. And admist each session, my mind whirled at the implications. Look out Rutherford Co. School Counselors......there is much more to come!

We did manage to sneak in a little fun.....but we'll keep those to ourselves! Just know that we will be looking for the next recipient of the Golden Jalepo Award!! :)

I am also going to include a video from our Day at the Park with Sarah and Carter! Too cute!!

I think that God is working on another lesson for me. I'm still just letting it come together in my head...and then I guess in my heart. I will post soon and would love to know what you all think!

I am heading to the lake tomorrow to spend the holiday weekend with my friend Abby and Matt and a whole crew of fun folks! I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend and that you find a moment to thank God for allowing us the blessing of living in a country where we are free to worship and pray and learn and even blog about Him!

Wish Me Luck....

2008-06-26T23:40:00.002-05:00

While I am technically on my short summer break, I am heading to Atlanta in the morning with several of my counselors to attend the American School Counselor Association conference. Over 2000 school counselors from across the nation will be gathering to learn the newest techniques and skills that will help us be better counselors when the school year starts up again in....(NOT going there yet because it will be far too soon!!)
I need your good thoughts and prayers because we are presenting a pre-conference session on Saturday. More than 50 professional school counselors have paid extra to come and here what we have to say. I count it a great privilege to have an opportunity to share with other counselors. We are presenting with a nationally known leader in the school counseling world - Carol Dahir. She has become a great friend to Rutherford County as well as to Karen and myself. I am confidant that she will help us to make our time together very successful.
I will let you know how everything goes when I get back!
On another note, I spent the morning with my sweet friend Sarah and her cutie-pie son, Carter. We had a picnic at Centennial Park, fed the ducks and "geeses", played golf and baseball....so fun. I will post pics and video for you to see soon.

Paradise Found!

2008-06-24T19:14:00.003-05:00

Well I have finally accepted that I do indeed have to come home. While Smyrna is a wonderful place to live, it doesn't quite offer all that Cabo San Lucas did! With its sandy beaches, beautiful waters and rugged mountains, Cabo is an amazing place to find peace and relaxation! Days were spent lounging by the infinity pool that appears to fall right into the blue waters of the Sea of Cortez. Because of the cool "breezes" off the Pacific, staying in the sunshine from early morn to early evening was a piece of cake (which, by the way, we didn't get. Food was good but desserts, well, let's just say that we didn't really enjoy any of the Mexican sweets!).
Tequila flowed like water but was much safer to drink! Swim up bars saddled the crystal blue pools. And yes, we really could swim up! There were even bar stools and tables right in the water!
We hit the Cabo hot spots - Cabo Wabo by far was my favorite. Great music, great dancing....lots of interesting people. We met folks from San Diego to Reno. They were quite impressed with our southern accent! Although when one guy found out I was from TN, he kept saying "she's from Al Gore!" Not quite how I would like to be remembered!
We checked out the other local cantinas. The Zoo looked like a high school dance where drinking was not only legal but encouraged! Imagine your little brothers/sisters, youth group members, students mimicking Paris, Lindsay and the other Hollywood notables.....I think that was the first and last time we will visit that Zoo!
Squid Row was another popular hang out. This was more like a frat party.....been there - done that. It did have a good dance beat so we found our groove and stayed a while. The Cabo nightlife offered something for everyone!
Our big adventure was parasailing! What a blast! I dared to take my camera up with me so be sure and check out some of the pics. We even did a video - if I can figure that out, I will add it as well. I was surprised at how slowly and peacefully we just floated through the sky!
Another treat was poolside massages.....WOW!!! Listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the beach took the massage to a whole new level!!! Definitely a must do again!
We took some time to take in some of the local merchants. Everyone was willing to strike up a bargain. We were even offered some tequila while we looked....they'll do anything to make a sale. We did get some fun finds for loved ones...and a few things for ourselves!
As we drove from our resort to and from the airport, I was quite surprised at the desert-like landscapes. Equally surprising, the main industry of Los Cabos seems to be tourism and tourism alone. I always thought that "Cabo" sounded like a very oppulent and extravagant. Beyond the resorts, it is quite the opposite. There is some growth - we did see a relatively new Blockbusters and Starbucks!
There are certainly other "stories" from our vacation that will remain between Missy and myself....wouldn't want to give it all away! ;)
It took less than 24 hours to decide that Cabo San Lucas would definitely be a place that I would return. Great for girl's trips, honeymoons and family vacations! Maybe one day we will get to go together!!

Home, Sweet, Home??????

2008-06-22T20:16:00.002-05:00

I won't begin to share about our trip in this blog except to say that it was wonderful....perfect even! Made me really ponder whether home was as sweet as the old saying goes! I will post more, including pictures soon. Too much to try to share at this point. And I don't know how many of you are all that interested! ;)
Right now I am quiet....yes, I know for some of you that is hard to imagine. But I am learning the value of being quiet - sitting down in the midst of my world to take stock of my life. Not to fear, I am not looking for drastic changes. I guess that once I went to paradise, I want to look at how to bring a little bit of paradise into my every day.
I was reminded today that once we sit in our reality, then we are able to understand that God is on the other side, waiting to reveal His recreation of me to me. I am thankful that I don't have to do it on my own. My hope is that God is glorified so much more not only because of His initial creation but also because of His recreation.
So as I take a seat and take stock, I trust that God will reveal what steps are next. Stay tuned.....

Cabo...here we come!

2008-06-13T22:24:00.002-05:00

I am going to keep this short as we are leaving for Cabo San Lucas in the morning. Technically we are leaving for the airport at 4:30 AM so I think that means later tonight! I had big plans of getting in bed by 9 tonight.....it's 10:30 and I still have a few things to do. I look forward to sleeping on the plane!
Say a prayer for safe travel for us. I have plenty of meds so hopefully Missy won't have to deal with all of my crazy plane anxiety!
I will take lots of pictures and have many stories to share when we return!
If you are interested, we are staying at the Riu Sante Fe in Cabo. Check our their website and you will see why I may not come home! :)
Hope that you all have a wonderful week. And special wishes go out to all of you fathers out there! We wouldn't be where we are without you!
Until next time........

Come to me, all who are thirsty...

2008-06-11T23:44:00.003-05:00

After spending a great amount of time, money and energy replanting my flower beds, I have developed a nightly ritual of watering these precious creations...willing them to survive in our dreadful heat! I have grown, in a short time, fond of this time by myself. I often find myself praying and pondering - sometimes at the same time.

Tonight as I was watering my very thirsty plants, I was struck with the lesson before me. As I said before, it is HOT here and we are not getting any rain at all. Last night I got home late and fell into bed before watering my new "babies". When the water started flowing tonight, I knew that the plants were in desperate need of some nourishment. Before I knew it, I found myself strangely identifying with my plants. There have been times when I have needed to be "fed & watered" desperately too. Things were piling up or not going my way or sometimes both. What I wanted more than anything during those times was some relief. And I usually didn't get it. At least not like I expected. What I wanted was a quick thunderstorm to stop the heat and let the rain pour down. But just like my tender vegetation, a fast moving down pour isn't the best way to satisfy a thirst. What we need around here is a slow easy rain. The kind that starts with a few drops and then evolves into small streams of refreshment. The kind that lasts all day and somestimes into the night. And sometimes that is exactly what our soul needs too. I can look back and see that God was satisfying my thirst - just not in the way that I wanted. He was taking His time. Knowing one night while watering little pieces of His creation, I would finally get it. He does take care of us - He does keep His promises - He does know what is best for me, especially when I don't!

So if you find yourself thirsty and wanting a quick fix, I pray that you hang in there. God will quench your thirst - probably not in the way that you are expecting!

Milestones.....

2008-06-09T20:36:00.002-05:00

It feels like I have lived a lifetime this past weekend. The family gathered to celebrate Bekah's graduation from high school - where she graduated with highest honors! I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished. Most of you know what all of the kids have had to go through so you too can appreciate what a moment we had this weekend. Between the celebrations and hugs, I had many memories....like the moment when I found out that my aunt was pregnant, when she took her first steps with me upstairs in a condo at the Needles in Durango (I still think that the grown-ups don't believe me), making Christmas cookies and getting green frosting on everything but the cookies, countless trips to Colorado and North Carolina, summers when Bekah got to come to camp with me......I could go on. It was like growing up with her all over again. I will post some pics in the next day or two. Get ready because these kiddos are all grown up!!!
But it did get me thinking about how quickly time goes by and how often I have thought I should have acted instead of "thinking". I have spent quite a bit of my life in what my friend Abby would call "analysis paralysis!" Time is too precious to spend all of it thinking. Friends, help me out. Don't be afraid to call me out on it. My memories of Bekah and the kids aren't about things I thought about - they are times that we spent together. Living Life - that is what I want to remember when I attend my grandchild's high school graduation.
I hope that we all have many memories of fun things we do and crazy times that we spend together!

God's Little Surprises

2008-06-04T22:54:00.002-05:00

Okay - I must preface everything that follows with the fact that it is almost 11 p.m. and I still have work to do before I can lower my lids for the night.
So this will be short, but I am trying to keep my committment to you all. :)
Today was filled with lots of little moments when God made himslef very known to me. Whether it was accomplishing small goals at work, spending time with special friends, just the right song at the right moment, a new haircut, and my favorite, a beautiful sunset - all are God's special messages to me. "Keep on going, Leigh. I am right here. I know what is going on and if you trust me, it is going to be alright!" Simple words but they pack a punch.
I hope that as you end your day, or maybe begin your new day tomorrow, you will be able to think back on June 4th and receive the messages that God was sending just for you!
Heading to NC for the weekend. Bekah, my cousin, is graduating from high school! I am so proud of her but at the same time, feel a little pang of something that is starting to leave a lump in my throat. I can't believe our little girl has become a young lady! I will tell you all about it soon.

Sharing my stories

2008-06-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I have officially joined into the world of blogging. It is an interesting concept to me. I know that I am loved but to think that folks would actually log on just to see what is going on with me is a little hard to wrap my head around. I do check out some of your blogs, though, so I am willing to give it a shot.

Please know that I do not see the 'blog' as a substitute for good ol' fashioned conversation. But in our hectic world, sometimes the sound of a ringing phone instills an urge to return to the days of the Pony Express (for you younger folks, that is even before snail mail!) So until we are able to share a cup of coffee (or even something a little stronger) I am thankful for an opportunity to invite you into my world. Proceed with caution! ;)

My wonderful friend Missy introduced me to the idea that life is about collecting stories. We all have a couple hours to spend to see how another chapter may turn out. Whether it is a blind date, trying something new or just getting through a day, when I think about it as collecting stories, it somehow makes the date a little brighter, the new adventure a bit more fun and the day a little more tolerable. Life has given me lots of stories so far. It is my intention use this blog to "share my stories" with you.

Happy reading.........